There are a lot of bad things in the world and online. So many that it might seem like it's everything, that there is nothing of value to be found anywhere. There is no hope left for joy or fun or human connection; there is only endless misery and trash as far as the eye can see, and no one will ever be happy again.

That's not really true, though.

The things you want do exist, and you can find them. You just have to be willing to try. And you have to be willing to try a lot, over and over and over again. You have to be willing to sift through piles and look under rocks and learn how to use things you don't really understand. You have to endure the journey before you arrive at a destination.

If you isolate yourself and refuse to speak to anyone, never go out, never talk to strangers, never reach out or try new things or go places where there are people, you will not make new friends. You are not a fairy-tale princess; human connection will not climb up to see you at the top of a tower, true love will not find you in your sleep. You have to put in some work. People have to know that you exist in order for them to like you. They have to meet you and talk to you and get to know you in order to like you, which means that you need to meet them and talk to them and let them get to know you.

If you want to be understood, you have to allow for that possibility. If you want to have friends, you have to be open to friendships. If you assume that the people you meet are awful and boring and have nothing to give you, if you refuse to engage with them, if you refuse to explain yourself or make yourself vulnerable, then you are actively resisting the forming of interpersonal bonds. You have yourself to blame.

How horrible! An absolutely disgusting state of affairs, if I'm being honest; I would much rather other people come to me and say, "Wow, you seem so cool and interesting despite not ever saying anything to anyone. Please let me be your friend," so I could simply sift through my friend-suitors and approve only the most suitable. Unfortunately I can't do that at all. I know some people can. Some people are particularly magnetic; they have good vibes, a lot of charisma, a particularly attractive face, or some combination thereof. Those people can get by just fine waiting for other people to approach them. I am not that.

Along the same lines, in order to find community, to find things to do, to find events or groups or hobbies or information, you have to be willing to look for it. You have to frankly assess what you want from your online experience and keep that in mind when you make decisions about what websites to use.

If you want to make friends and to talk to people and then quit using all social media, you should not be surprised that this is suddenly very difficult. It is not impossible to make friends online, and not impossible to make friends online outside of social media, but you are making things more difficult for yourself than they have to be. You made the decision to leave the places with the most people and cut off those avenues for interpersonal connection; you made the decision to not talk to people.

Man, taking responsibility for my own behavior sucks shit. So does trying to socialize. Actually, every possible way of improving my life takes a lot of effort and most of it is not fun at all! I'm feeling really sour about it at the moment. It's galling that not only do I have to do it, I have to keep doing it over and over again, even if it sucks and I don't wanna? Ughhhhhhh.