i thought it would be fun to search for frogs on goodwill's website and i was not disappointed. here are some of the frogs which i looked at.

a product photo of a stuffed frog sitting on a log. the frog is wearing a chef hat and holding a spatula with a fly on it. the frog is also wearing an apron which reads, 'number one dad'. the log is labeled, 'grill master'

this fellow is not only wonderful to observe and a beloved father, but he is musical. reportedly, if you squeeze his foot it plays "fireball". i am not familiar with this song but a quick youtube search indicates that this is a pitbull production, which is delightful. what father wouldn't want to own a frog that could yell about being mr. worldwide from its GRILL MASTER log?? what a good item. i'm a big fan of this frog's wide body and facial expression in particular. he looks very huggable. 10/10 frog.

a product photo of a green and yellow ceramic frog with black spots sitting on stop of a ceramic horned cow with identical coloring.

this one is a bit challenging, conceptually. the frog is huge; the cow is a frog. the cow's back leg appears to be a frog leg? is it some sort of cow-frog hybrid? what is this cow's story? ceramic knickknacks and their collectors are a true mystery to me; i have no idea what kind of person purchases this item (besides someone like me). its tag and packaging seem to indicate that this is part of a series of little ceramics based off of that fad of funny cow statues in the 00s? "cow parade". and this one is called "mother frog". so the frog is the cow's mom, i guess, or perhaps the cow is named mother frog because of how she looks.

at any rate, this is a Collector's Item, but the nature of the collector is unknown to me. there are many mysteries at play in this piece. this is a highly mysterious item. the frog is a small component of the piece, but it is nonetheless all about the frog. amazing. perfect for fans of frogs and cows alike, i should think.

a product photo of a statue of an upright frog in the famous Marilyn Monroe blowing-skirt pose. the frog is wearing only a billowing white skirt and a bright pink bow.

now this is a bad item. how horrible it is to see this sexy frog. i hate that the frog is wearing a skirt instead of a dress. i hate whatever is going on with its froggy feet splayed out in such an unnatural pose. i do not know anything about frog feet, but this can't be right. i hate its shapely woman-legs, the delicate curve of its calves and thighs affixed to the lumpy body that is not froglike nor human. i hate how big and wet its eyes look. she looks sort of sad or nervous.

and of course i hate the giant pink hello kitty type bow plopped on her head, presumably to make sure you know this is a GIRL frog. why would anyone assume otherwise? what does the bow add? did they make the rest of this horrible marilyn-frog and then take a step back and think "my god, what if someone thinks this is a *man frog*, crossdressing?! why, that would be horrible! a false gender assumption of this frog? no! no! i shan't abide it!"

it's a frog dressed as marilyn monroe. surely the joke here is that frogs are not sexy, but are instead funny-looking, and thus it is amusing to see such a creature in the sexy dress pose. does the gender of the frog really matter for this gag? why didn't they add big eyelashes or lipstick or a marilyn wig instead of a huge pink bow? is it some kind of copyright thing, and that's why she is topless as well? i just don't know. this is a bad frog. she is part of a two-piece set and comes accompanied by a michael jackson frog, who is nude except for a hat, a white glove, and a microphone headset.

a product photo of a rectangular clock with no hands. under the clock face is an illustration of two green frogs in a crescent moon in an abstract starry sky. one of the frogs is holding oars as if the moon is their boat.

ahh, how nice. what a lovely little clock. my only complaint about this delightful bit of home decor is that the oars of the boat could have been the clock hands!! although i suppose that would make it a bit busy, positioning-wise. at any rate, i love this. look how happy the rowing frog is! i always enjoy the night sky being a starry sea. what whimsical and delightful imagery! on previous adventures on the goodwill website i have felt a powerful urge to become a collector of strange and whimsical novelty clocks, and this really adds to that. the only problem is that i cannot abide the ticking of an analog clock, so i really ought not to own any clocks at all so that i do not succumb to some sort of tick-tock-induced madness. on the plus side, my particular susceptibility to clock-induced madness keeps me safe from irresponsible purchasing decisions; on the down side, i am bereft of frogs in rowboats. this life is truly full of ups and downs.

a product photo of a teapot shaped like a very round green frog. the spout is the frog's mouth, open in a small O. next to the teapot are two black tadpole mugs.

yes! yes! fuck yeah, dude!! look at that! look at the tadpoles! their little tails?! the fatness of this frog is tremendous. this is what every teapot should look like. i have also often admired and coveted novelty teapots, but i do not drink tea nor do i have any interest in doing so, and so am forced to watch precious items such as this pass me by. the frog's unusual facial expression (for a frog) gives the teapot a surprising charm which is sure to make people smile. "ooooo" is not a frog sound and this face is not one normally associated with frogs, and it is very cute. it could be blowing on your hot tea to cool it down?? thanks, frog! god, what a great set. how fabulous.

a product photo of a metal candelabra shaped like two frogs holding up flowers while standing arm in arm and shouting at the sky. in front of the candelabra is a matching soap dish, shaped like a frog offering a lily pad.

how jolly these frogs are! the one on the right is perhaps doing a little jig? wonderful! it's funny that these candle-holding frogs have more humanoid feet than marilyn up there.

the soap dish somehow has a more plaintive air than the merry-making candle holders, even though they have the same open-mouthed expression. maybe it's the lowly angle, how close he sits to the ground and how feebly he holds up the lilypad as though the weight is nearly too much to bear. the candle-holding frogs hoist their burdens with such ease!! they must be singing or carousing. the soap frog looks like he may be complaining. the simple shapes here are so evocative and funny. what are these fellows up to??

a product photo of two small white ceramic frog figurines. on the left is a grumpy-looking frog with a blob of green on its belly. on the right is one statue of two frogs; one is leaning on the other, who is gripping its shoulder supportively.

here we seem to have walked in on some sort of scene. one frog seems to be swooning in dismay, held up only by its fellow frog. what have you done, left-frog?! i love that they all have the same flat grouchy frogface despite their different emotional poses. the grime on these frogs makes me want to give them a wash. i've also just noticed that the swooning frog's eyes seem to be very sloppily painted-on such that the pupils are different sizes and pointing different directions, which in my opinion adds to the charm of this funny little doodad.

a product photo of a brass statue of four thin-limbed frogs all standing on one foot and reaching their hands up

goodwill describes these frogs as "Reaching for Hope & Sun" which is a very charming assertion i think. based on what? unclear. i suppose they must be reaching for something, although to me they seem to be engaged in a group exercise of some sort rather than reaching for hope & sun. they look like they are working out or perhaps have all just landed an impressive gymnastics routine at the olympics after injuring their ankles. these frogs are very skinny, also.

i also don't feel that this evokes the sense of optimism that goodwill thinks it does. four frogs doing synchronized movement simply does not make me think of hope and the sun, i am afraid! in fact it is vaguely ominous and looks like it could belong to some sort of joke villainous organization in a children's cartoon or video game.

this frog has had enough of this. you know how in cardcaptor sakura her funny little fellow has to sit very still and pretend to be a stuffed animal sometimes? this also happens to jiji in kiki's delivery service and kon in bleach. this frog has the facial expression of a little guy nervously pretending to be a stuffed animal and hoping that you will look away soon so he can breathe. i love how incredibly huge his eyes are and the slight askance look of the pupils, making him perpetually seem to be up to something. this guy is in a lot with two other stuffed frogs - you can see a bit of one of them next to him - but he's my favorite because of how stressed he seems to be. i like how huge he seems to be. i wish he were fatter and thus more huggable, but the knit texture looks very soft and the butterfly addition is so odd that it's very very charming.

a straight-on product photo of a green frog statue holding up a tray with one hand.
the same frog from behind, revealing the dark spots on his back.
a third angle of the same frog, this time from slightly above.
made with @nex3's grid generator

hohoho! a funny pose for a frog butler! i love his lopsided open mouth, i love the dramatic leg pose making it look like he's just slid in in a hurry to deliver you whatever is on the tray. soap or keys or something, i imagine. the line at his waist which abruptly cuts off the spots on his back which suggests he's wearing pants is so funny. the open mouth seeming to say "blearrrgh" is great. the one hand on the ground like he's a marvel superhero coming in for a landing is fantastic. i love this frog! i simply HAD to include multiple pictures to get across how fun the pose is here.

a product photo of a painted ceramic frog playing a banjo. its body is green, its banjo is yellow, and its face is pale white with smears of red around its mouth.

this is another bad frog. i hate its ghastly pale face and bloody mouth. this frog has killed and will kill again. one of the product photos is of the bottom of the frog whereupon it is scrawled in pencil (or pen?), "VERRY OLD". thank you for that, previous owner, but i do not think this frog is all that old. it looks like one of those paint-your-own ceramic doodads from those places where they glaze and fire things for you, and that's why its face is Like That. although i say that - old knickknacks are often deeply bizarre, and it's possible someone made this frog look like a murdered ghost on purpose for unknown reasons. i don't understand the insane popularity of depressed hobo clown statues; maybe there was a similar craze for frogs smeared with blood. you never know!

a product photo of a frog carved from dark brown wood

one last frog, and this one is a good one to cleanse your palate. just a little carved wooden frog. i like his huuuuge head and little delicate paws. the pose and lack of webbed fingers gives it a catlike quality that i really enjoy. this frog is truly just a little guy. this is a classy frog for anyone's home, not just frog enthusiasts. this frog could live on a shelf in a fancy office and not look out of place. it is a kind frog i think.